There’s this prevailing idea that church isn’t really for men—or if it is, it’s only for a certain kind of man.
More people are thinking it than saying it out loud, but you know it’s true. And lest you try to scoff at the idea, here are some facts to face:
- Most Christian congregations in the U.S. are 61% female, and 39% male—across all age groups.
- Midweek church activities are 70 to 80% female.
- Less than 10% of U.S. churches can maintain a healthy men’s ministry.
And if church isn’t for men, what does that imply about Christianity? ‘Cause there seems to be a lot of singing and holding hands and quiet, gentle activities … Is Christianity a girl’s club?
Exhibit A: Peter
Peter the Apostle
Peter was one of Jesus’ first followers. He was one of three permitted into Jesus’ innermost circle. He was the one who had a divine revelation of Jesus’ deity. He was the one Jesus told, after His resurrection, to feed His sheep. He was the one who preached the first church sermon on Pentecost that led to 3000 people joining the Church.
Peter was the arguably the first “church guy,” and the most prominent leader of the first church. The Catholic church even considers Peter the first pope.
Peter the Fisherman
But if the Peter that Jesus called out of his fishing boat walked into most western churches today, no one would pick him as the guy who is, “going to do big things for God.”
Because Peter was a filthy, calloused, muscular, and probably at least slightly vulgar young man when Jesus found him. He was probably fairly stubborn, and we know from his time with Jesus that his mouth didn’t have much of a filter.
Fishing in first century Palestine was not a recreational activity. Fishermen were up early, working in the sun—on the water—all day, and then up late mending nets that got damaged during the day. They were weathered and dirty and stank like sweat and fish. They spent long days in the presence of only other fishermen, and you know how guys can get.
Not to mention the storms that can whip up on the Sea of Galilee are nothing to scoff at. The lake is low because of the rift valley, and surrounded by hills, so the weather is unpredictable and can get violent very quickly. Fishing on the lake was a dangerous business.
Peter the Disciple
Even as Peter spent three years following Jesus, he was still very much … Peter. We all become more Christlike, because that’s the point, but it’s a process for everyone: even the great apostle.
There was that time Peter rebuked Jesus (really) for prophesying His own death.
Not long after that, Peter was one of three men allowed in the presence of Jesus as His divinity was fully revealed—and Moses and Elijah (long since dead) appeared to minister to Him as He headed toward His cross. Peter’s response to the manifest glory of God and the appearance of two dead prophets? “Tents! Let’s make tents!”
Peter was the one who boldly declared that even if everyone else abandoned Jesus, he never would … the night before denied knowing Jesus—three times—as Jesus suffered and died alone.
Peter the Role Model
In His divine, perfect wisdom, Jesus left His new Church largely in the hands of this man, and that decision gives me hope for 3 reasons:
1. Peter’s Past Didn’t Matter
Peter didn’t excel at his religious schooling as a kid. We can only imagine what kind of a rough-around-the-edges guy he was. Even his epic failure as a follower of Jesus could be forgiven and turned into good for God’s purposes. Jesus sees potential.
2. Peter Was Passionate
Peter was a guy that few would mess with, but that didn’t mean he had to be stoic. Part of the reason he failed so big was because he cared so deeply.wanted to serve, and for all his cowardice I think he really meant it (or he thought he did) when he said he would never leave Jesus.
There’s another story in the gospels that people love to tell about Peter—the one where he tried to walk on water, but quickly lost the touch, and Jesus had to save him from drowning. People point to Jesus’ reply (“Oh you of little faith. Why did you doubt?”), and point fingers at Peter. Who is pointing fingers at the other 11 guys in the boat? Peter was the only one with the faith and courage to get out of the boat, and that makes him one of two people in history who have ever walked (however briefly) on water. His passion fueled an amazing faith.
3. Peter Gave 100% and Never Quit
Peter screwed up bigger than most of us will ever even get the opportunity to screw up, but he always got back up. Part of it was uniquely Peter, but part of it—I think—was worked into him by his lifestyle. Tradesmen and people who work hard, with their hands, tend to have that classic never-say-die attitude.
Because most of the time, there’s little other choice. Your work is your passion, or it’s already your Plan B, and there’s no where else to go. So when life knocks you down, when you make a complete mess of something, you clean it up and you keep going.
We know Peter shared that attitude, because he said as much. Early in Jesus’ ministry, He pulled a classic Jesus and said something controversial—and people left Him. When Jesus asked His main 12 guys if they were going to go home too, Peter’s response was, “Where would we go?” Peter was all in, and even when following Jesus got harder than he could even understand, he was like, “Nah. I’m here, and I don’t quit when stuff gets difficult.”
To Peters and Pastors
I think the Church needs more men like Peter again, so this is a two-fold challenge:
To the tough guys who think church and Christianity is a sorority: get over yourself. Read the New Testament and ask yourself if that looks like a girls’ club. It doesn’t matter what the Church looks like in your town—the book of Acts is what its supposed to look like. Sleeping in on Sunday mornings, and/or not following Jesus on your own time, is not going to fix it and it’s not helping you.
To the people in churches: do not alienate these guys when they show up. They will not be in suits. They might cuss a lot. They might have bad habits and calloused hands, and they might not be comfortable holding hands with strangers or dancing during your worship set. Get over yourselves. The next time you meet one, remember Peter.
